Acts of Volition

"This year, apparently due to the fear of terrorism (which is apparently the new communism)…" -Steve

Wow, you've got that right. And you don't even live down here in the 'States! All I have to say is Yowzers… at least it's not yet illegal to vote for the Green Party…

I just returned from the celebrations Steve summarized. I agree with Steve. Here are some more points.

<ul>
<li>Rufus longer and with less people who don't know who he is.
</li>
<li>Way less Boomer.</li>
<li>More fireworks (although they were pretty good this year).</li>
<li>More police on bicycles in the streets afterword</li>
<li>More video cameras on 200 Foot cranes</li>
<li>Just because someone wins a gold medal shouldn't automatically qualify them as a good T.V. host.</li>
<li>The premier of PEI, Pat Binns, should resign because of his incredibly poor performance at the microphone. E.g. In trying to rhyme a word with Dutch he actually said "our minorities we like to touch".</li>
<li>The Mayor once again said 1864.</li>
</ul>

Notes from the North Shore.

Even though my three year old insisted on going to see some guy dressed up as a TV turtle, most of us avoided the official Canada Day in Capital Zone and participated in the North Rustico one instead. The parade's big event were horses. Being 10 feet from skitterish horses being followed by the car from Wayne's Stockcar Repair was to say the least soemthing that focuses the mind. Once, the potential for a recreation of a unintended cavelry charge were passed, neighbours who dressed up their business trucks drove slowly by and had their kids throw candy as they passed. We scooped up a Halloween's worth. Then there was the naval cadets band. They seemed to be playing three different tunes at one time - two marches and something somewhat like reggae - so that was neat. Then it was over and we went home twenty minutes after it started. At night, after a backyard BBQ, I sat up, looked up from my book and watched a respectable fireworks from bed. No government official spoke to me, no one read a scripted exhortation about pride and no one got a cheque for consulting on the events. I had chow-chow that someone I know made with my BBQ while sitting on the lawn in the back yard.

I can’t agree with you more Steven. Last night we were watching the show along side one of the CBC cameras (right where Jono and Boomer did their so called lobster jokes) and half way through the show a lady next to us lit up. #1. I’m not a smoker and #2. I can’t stand being that close to somebody that does.

I do remember commenting last night about the commercials. At one point we just finished watching a number of advertisements and then Boomer comes on the stage and says the rest of the Country just went to a commercial break…does that mean they just watched two sets worth?

<i>“Just because someone wins a gold medal shouldn't automatically qualify them as a good T.V. host”</i>
Yes, I must admit I was thinking that exact same thing but then again, I have also wondered why somebody that competes on survivor instantly becomes a celebrity and gets invited to award shows. Survivor is no different then any other game show.

As for Pat Binns and his new found talent of poetry….. I was probably laughing more at him rather then with him. A simple speach would have done just fine.

Monday night was the only event I attended over the weekend so I don’t know what the traffic was like except for last night. Just before the fireworks started we started to move in the direction of our car and watched them from a distance. We got to the car around 11:20 parked on Dorchester St. It was 12:25 when I finally got to the Esso at the end of the North River Rd. I think that’s the longest trip through Charlottetown of my life.

We stayed home and watched Life as a House. It sounds like we had a much better time. It's a great movie.

Peter, I'm just wondering how do you decide which mass commercial phenomenon you participate in whole-heartily and which ones you avoid like the plague?

Even though I watched the entire celebration/production from the comfort of home, I gathered a lot, if not just as much, of the details that Steven has discussed.

I won't try to group my thoughts in nice, flowing paragraphs; instead I'll continue the unordered list mania:

<ul>
<li>Roger Younker probably felt very jilted that he was passed over for a co-host position. Even though he's not the best television personality on the Island, he would do much better than...<p>
<li>Boomer, whose try at 15 minutes of National Fame didn't really work out, what with Jonathan Torrens interrupting him. (Side note: lobster jokes will never be funny)<p>
<li>I am now a big Rufus Wainwright fan.<p>
<li>Sales of those oh-so-wonderful folding chairs are probably soaring right now. Especially the type with the Canadian flag design on them.<p>
<li>If all the talk about national pride at Canada's celebrations was excessive, the amount at this year's Independence Day (US) events will be unmatched.
</ul>

Also, I look forward to hearing more about Garrity's Inverse Law of Congregational Intelligence; it is very clear that people are affected by the amount of people around them. As the crowd number increases, so does the "Go With The Flow" attitude, which can be linked to the intelligence level theory stated in Steven's law. Fascinating.

In agreement with Garrity's "Inverse Law of Congregational Intelligence", I witnessed a teen scuffle during the fireworks last night. A number of slow-witted teens started into fisticuffs and then as the cops broke up the situation, the kids divided into small groups to vainly discuss with furrowed brows who had been disrespected and what it meant to their world view. Does Steven's law apply directly to the enitre high school environment as this situation and my own experience in grade school might suggest?

I got home from work tonight to find two new folding chairs sitting at the bottom of the stairs. I guess my family just joined the folding chair phenomenon.

Ryan, you can't make an assertion like "lobster jokes will never be funny" and expect it to go unchallenged. So here's ten lobster jokes to get the ball rolling. I say we keep making them up and posting until someone comes up with a funny one.

What do Lobster children call the one who brings them gifts on Christmas Day?
Sandy Claws

A Catholic, A Jew, and a kosher lobster walk into a restaurant on a Friday. Only two walk out.

How many lobsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
So far, no lobster has been trained to accomplish this feat.

Why did the lobster cross the road?
To distance himself from the melted butter.

What’s the difference between a lobster sandwich in 2002, and a lobster sandwich in 1902?
About four rungs on the Social Class ladder.

You might be a redneck lobster if:
-you’ve been boiled.
-there’s discarded and abandoned cars, trucks, tires and sofas in the water where you live.
-you’ve mated with a cousin or sibling.
-just before you’re put in the pot, you hear the following: “Y’all are gonna taste right good.”

There once was a lobster from Tignish
Who, before he died, had just one wish:
That this boundary dispute
Would get the big boot
And instead of lobster, they’d fish fish.

How do you make a male lobster cry?
Like all arthropods, the nervous system of the a lobster is very primitive, and contains far fewer nerve cells than our nervous systems. The nerve cells are grouped in clusters called ganglia. A lobster has no cerebral cortex, the area of the human brain that perceives pain. Despite this, male lobsters will cry if kicked or punched in the nuts.

How do you make a female lobster cry?
Have her watch “Sleepless in Seattle”.

What’s the easiest way to get blond lobsters into the pot?
Tell them it’s a hot tub.

I rather lobsters on my piano....
Than crabs on my organ.